He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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