i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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