i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
