Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Randomize
