fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
