why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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