Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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