ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
