Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
