yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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