i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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