We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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