Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
