dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I puked a lego.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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