i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
