just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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