Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Do you have feelings for this penis?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
