at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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