I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
