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...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
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