He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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