I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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