I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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