i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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