I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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