he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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