i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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