and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
