Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
