Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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