I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The beer is more important than you right now.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Shame - the story of my life.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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