he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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