Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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