I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
