mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
