An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
