reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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