i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
