yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
