I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
So much rum. So many feels.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
