I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
