How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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