my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
