there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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