trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
