my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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