This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
