Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
