you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
