somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We left the knife in your bed.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
