this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
