his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
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