How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We had to coat check the pizza.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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