at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
