I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
