another moral hangover. fuck.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
