He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
