Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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