So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
