the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
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