I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
