Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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